Girls In Crisis

Teen years for girls today are a period of real danger

Girls entering puberty often face a “crisis in confidence” which makes them vulnerable to risky behavior, and these bad choices can have devastating lifelong consequences.

Somewhere to Turn
What’s perhaps even worse than the dangerous opportunities teen girls are at risk for is the fact that most of them will not talk to their parents about these dangers they face. According to Pegine Echevarria, MSW, author of the new book “For All Our Daughters: How Mentoring Helps Young Women and Girls Master the Art of Growing Up,” “No matter how good your communication is with your daughter, there are things she will not and cannot tell you, things she needs desperately to tell someone.”

The answer? Female mentors — someone girls can trust who isn’t Mom or Dad. “You must point your daughter toward a trustworthy role model — an aunt, a cousin, a grandmother, a Girl Talk leader, a teacher, a friend, or some other responsible caring woman,” she says, “because your daughter’s survival depends on it.

The most important thing a mentor can do is to listen and to lead by example.  She isn’t there to judge, punish or condemn.  And as crucial as her role becomes, it is a temporary one — a mentor will never replace a mother. According to Echevarria, “The mother/daughter bond will remain a dominant force in your daughter’s life for as long as she walks on this earth.”

Contact Lynnette Easley to find out how mentors can help teenage girls survive the risky years and how your daughter can find a mentor or become a mentor herself.

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Girl Talk is scared…

I just don’t understand what makes a male feel as though he can TAKE sex from a woman whenever he pleases.  I know that throughout history, this type of crime is simply a pathological assertion of power and it just absolutely disgusts me that it continues to happen and now its not only behind closed doors, but assult’s are happening in broad daylight, at bus stations, on residential streets and at school.  And now, not only is there just one perputrator, but several.  And now, not only are they raping, but they are beating and  robbing their victims…I mean, how low can you get?

This story has affected me hard, because it could be anyone that I know, and you never know when this type of thing could happen.  Growing up, I was witness (well I didn’t actually see what was going on, but I knew) to a rape.  She was my friend…and it all started so innocently.  She didn’t do anything too flirtatious, she wasn’t out of line, and she couldn’t have known it would happen.  And I (and others) didn’t make it stop – I think for fear that it would somehow turn on us.  Or somehow had the thought that maybe she wanted it, and that her cries for help weren’t loud enough.  25 years later, I still feel guilty, I still think about it, and although I am no longer as close to this woman, I would like to say I’m sorry to her, for not being a better friend.

But fast forward to October 2009, a 15 year old young woman, leaving the homecoming dance on her way to her way to the car to meet her father, somehow gets side tracked and ends up on another part of the school campus with some kids that were drinking.  Now, can’t say exactly what happened from the time she was to meet her father to the time she hooked up with these other kids, but I’m going to say, for the sake of argument, that this young lady never anticipated what was to happen next.  Somehow, she gets approached by a group of boys who then commenced to having unconsensual sex with her, RAPE, repeatedly for nearly 2 1/2 hours.

This young woman never stood a chance against these boys…at no time did she ever stand a chance. And these boys, one after the other having (most likely) unprotected sex with this 15 year old girl while at least 12 more just watched. It makes me sick!

You can look at this situation and say…why was she walking by herself…why didn’t she go straight to the car where her father waited for her…why did she instead go and have a drink with her friends…why.

Even asking why to any of these questions does not and should not suggest she deserved what she got. No part of this situation suggest any of these boys had any right to have sex with this young lady, and it makes me ill to think they then showed up for school on Monday, as if nothing had ever happened.  I mean, when did this society get so heartless, and inconsiderate?

When did we go from “it takes a village” to “stop snitching”.  When did we stop looking out for one another and begin to think only of ourselves…I don’t get it.  We are not here in this life by our selves.

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Girl Talk looks at…Girl Gang Bangers in Los Angeles

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Girl Talk Reminds You About TheTeen Girl’s Pregnancy Pact

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Girl Talk Baltimore is…Prosecuting Parents for the ridiculous things they let their kids do…

Parents that host...lose the most

Now I remember a few years ago while in Mexico, I remember watching this kid…couldn’t have been more than 16, and his parents were getting him wasted…I mean, you could clearly see this boy had had enough, but his parents (or what appeared to be his parents) just continued to buy him shots and cheer him on.  I remember thinking..alcohol poisoning is a real thing people…it’s real.

Between graduation parties, end-of-school celebrations, and summer gatherings there are so many opportunities for teen kids to find trouble.  I can’t really fathom the idea of parents buying alcohol for their underage children and their friends or the whole concept of parents contributing to teens alcohol abuse is off my radar.  I mean, I guess it can be argued that some parents believe that it’s safer for their teens to drink at home than to drink anywhere else. In my opinion, that’s just plain and simply ridiculous!!!

Some parents mistakenly think that underage drinking is part of growing up; they may view it as a rite of passage —(one that tends to follow high school graduation instead of his/her 21st birthday).  And these same parents will try to reason that even if they don’t buy alcohol for their kids and their friends, then the kids will still find a way to get it from a sibling or friend who is over the age of 21.

Now, I’m no prude…you know I’ve been there and thankfully, God and my angels watched over me and my friends.  But as you grow older you begin to realize how stupid the mistakes were that you made as a kid.  But one thing that NEVER happened, is that my parents or any of the kids I grew up with parents’ EVER brought alcohol for us.

My 13 year old is fighting for her position to “make her own mistakes” and my question to her is “WHY”?, if I already know better.  I realize that she will begin to make stupid mistakes and stupid decisions, but I hope that with my reasonable guidence her mistakes won’t be so bad.

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Girl Talk wants to know…when did sex become a sport?

Let me just preface this conversation by stating the I’m not God’s little perfect angel.  I had a child – at age 28 – out of wedlock with a man that already had 5 children at the time…So yes it can be stated that I should have known better, and most certainly could have used better judgment.  But by no means had I or any of the women in my circle for that matter, use sex as a way of better positioning ourselves or as some kind of bargaining tool.  I mean, we had a good time growing up, we party’d, we travel led, we ‘wild-ed’ out, we did all of the things that kids do today, except we did it with class.

I was recently introduced to a term “Rainbow Party’s” and I must say how repulsed I was to actually learn what this meant.  According to the urban dictionary definition, these are parties where several girls wear a different color of lipstick then each proceeds to give one or more guys a blow job. The multiple of colors left on each guy’s penis resembles a rainbow.

What is this???  First of all, that was something that you just DIDN’T DO, under any Just Say Nocircumstances…second of all, why is it that society polarizes this type of behavior?  Who said this was acceptable?  Then on the heels of this, I watch this documentary, “Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss”.  It talks about girls that have oral sex (and yes girls oral sex counts as sex too) for money and attention.  One of the main points the documentary makes is that each girl they interviewed shared several commonalities the least of which is that they all say they did it for the “ATTENTION” they got from the boys.  The documentary goes on to report that in addition to the attention they get, they also get paid.  One girl bragged that she got $100 for just 5 minutes. So now, not only are our girls being way to promiscuous, but they are also selling themselves for the price of a pair of shoes.

So my question is where are the role models?  Where are the positive women showing these girls alternatives to this behavior?  Where are the mothers and grandmothers? Where are the teachers?

A report by the today show (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/#23610934) interviews a panel of kids about sex.  The question is asked, if their parents had ever talked to them about sex.  Only half of the panel said their parents had talked to them, a few said the conversation only lasted about 5 minutes, others said they were very open with their parents about sex.  I happen to believe that that is a conversation that MUST happen in this day and age.  I think the more informed children are, the more likely they are to understand how critical and  powerful their decisions are.

So at the end of the day, I will touch as many girls as I can.  I will teach as many as I can.  I will love as many as I can, like a mother and a friend.

–Lynnette

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